Saying for the week.

"This world is a battlefield for us. Each one of us has our own battle and we are fighting it every single day. Many times we are frustrated with that battle and most of the time we are confused. There is so much fear and attachment. All kinds of emotions are involved when we are dealing with the real world. Time goes and you look back. You have not done anything, except worry and feeling sorry for yourselves, feel guilty, and it all was wasted. That is the time we do need a true teacher like Krishna." - Talks on the Bhagvad Gita by Pandit Hari Shankar.

Stop feeling sorry, don't look back, no regrets. Walk on people! :)

n. Xx

Change Article Analysis's.

So it has been a long while since I have had to write a paper for a class. Just about 3 years really. And I can safely say that it is going to take me just about 2 hours (including this blog break) to write a two page paper - double spaced! And that's just first draft!

AND, to top it all, I am scared of what the outcome is going to be - like, I don't know if whatever I have written, is what I am supposed to writing. Do I need to use bigger words or is just stating your point as simply as possible good enough? And the fact that I don't really have experience in the education industry and more or less everything I am going to say is going to be an opinion - is that a horribly bad thing that is going to get graded real bad? And paraphrasing and plagiarism - let's not even go there. Let's just say I am going to have sleepless nights till this paper is submitted and I get it back and I have NOT had a horrible grade on it, or a comment that states I should probably go back to 3rd grade OR, a letter stating I should go visit student services for plagiarism!

Is this whole situation sad? I mean, for the love of God, I am 25 years old! I can and should NOT be worrying about a 2 page paper! It should just be something that I should be able to whip up - no problem!

OK. This just seem a little sad to me. Bloody hell!

Life is good...

And it sure has been a while!

I can't explain how grateful I am for each day I wake up. It's like God and life have given me a second chance. Maybe I can live my dream. But before all that wisdomess stuff - I will have to get by the next 2 years.

And boy is it going to be an adventure or what?

Just a brief recap before I go any further. I was in the states a while ago, the job thing didn't work out after graduation so I had to go back home. The move was fine, for a little while, and I loved the people there and I was pulling through! Then the property market hit - and then I lost my job and was one of the MOST miserable mofo's around. Then one day, in a second, just like that, I decided I wanted to back to the states, and go back to school or do something. Just something. Not sit on my ass and do nothing. Go out and live my dreams, and all that wisdomess stuff! So I figured, most schools, deadlines were going to be done in 2 days. (Yes, it took me that long to decide to do this). I had ONE choice as a backup plan - MSU, Mankato. So I applied, for a Leadership program, got accepted, got my visa on a first try (that part I was really worried about), packed my bags, said heartbreaking goodbyes for the second time, sat on the plane and left.

And then I land in Minneapolis, a very nice man helps me get all bags on a big trolley, and I step out of the airport. It was freezing. Luckily I had dressed the part. While I was waiting for my sister, smoking a quick ciggy, and doing my dance that I do to stay warm (yes, I multi-task), I realized something. Sure, I left home, but I was home.

Anyway, I move in with my sister for a couple of days and we bond instantly. It had been a rough ride for us. Thanks to some unfortunate excuses of human beings in our lives, we had drifted apart. And now that all just seemed so old and ages ago. We had both grown up in the time we were apart and that distance and space taught us something. Siblings are always going to be there for each other. No matter what. However, there is no harm in there being a little bit of distance between us. So before I moved to Mankato - we made a wise decision, we were not going to live together. So I signed up to move to a place near campus while she was going to stay where she was in North Mankato.

On the first day back, I got to meet Aaron as well. And what can I say? He is amazing. And its a relief. Its weird not really knowing the man your sister is going to marry. Nobody can understand it unless they are in this position and sometimes I think that is why I came here. So that I wouldn't have to go through this whole issue of not knowing him. And hey, maybe I can convince to teach me how to dance in the process!

After the first week back it was time to move to my own place. And I did! Its an awesome 4 bedroom town house. I have two room mates, Kari and Bri. Both are so incredibly awesome - I can't explain! I was secretly so worried about having to move in with two people I never knew. And now, we laugh at all that. It has been a super experience getting to know them and I really love coming 'home' when I'm done with a long day of school.

And what I have realized through this whole experience is that even if I know it or not, I have grown up. In strange little ways! I am not rushing myself to meet people and make friends. I have learnt that things like that just happen! Also, it was so great re-connecting with the few friends that are left in Minnesota. I also feel so much at peace! I love Thursday nights especially! My weekend starts then. And don't get me wrong, I have a TON to read and papers to write, even over the weekend but, I love just coming home, eating something and then just going up to my room, listening to some light music and reading a book for pleasure!

I thank God a million times over. Let's just hope it stays this way!

And as Mr. Mraz says - hold your own, know your name and go your own way...and everything will be fine.

And now, even though Pandora is making me feel otherwise with its AMAZING playlist, I have to hit the sack! Got tons to read and a paper to finish tomorrow! 'NIght peeps! Xx

Getting older...

Maybe, just maybe, if I don't think about it, it won't happen. The horrible thing that's going to happen this coming Monday.

I'm turning 25.

I am going to be quarter of a century old.

And I don't feel like I have accomplished too much. I mean, quarter of a century is a bloody long time, right? People have made their millions by now. And along with making their millions, they have gotten married and had babies. I definitely don't have my millions and am definitely not married or have any babies!

Maybe I should get a pet...something I won't kill easily!
OR...maybe if I don't think about it, it won't happen!

A dejavu-ic goodbye!

So the night is finally here. I have said all my good-byes. This has been a roller coaster. I need to sleep and sleep is far, far away. This is what I want. I have been so excited about this. But tonight it's different. I realised there is a HUGE difference between this time and last. This time I'm older and things won't be the same when and if I do come back. There are going to be some huge changes. It's also harder because all relationships I have from the past and made here are stronger which makes this process so difficult.

To mom and dad - the best parents anyone could ever ask for. I can not even begin to explain how much I am going to miss you. I am so glad I am so much closer to you and I love you with all my heart! I'm not even in the states yet and I can't wait for you to come visit!
To naeem - my strong voice of reason and calm after every storm. I love you so very much.
To prtiz - my akka when I am away from my akka. For being the only one who didn't break even once and kept telling me this is going to be awesome! Love, love you!
To connel, bharat, love and vismay - for all the mental, fabulous nights. Here is hoping you guys do fan-effin-tabulous in whatever you do! And call me when you'll are around the area! Going to miss you'll and the madness tons!
To ashraf and muna - for just always being there. No matter who comes and goes, you'll are seriously always there!
To naomi - for all the 8 hour conversations, love, care and support. You have helped me pull through SO much without even knowing it! Am going to miss you hun! Xx
And finally to my girls - for all the good times and bad, for all the awesome nights and the not-so-awesome sick sessions after, for the all concerts, trips, dancing, singing, laughing, eating, screaming, listening, movies, drives, pictures...and the list shall go on again. This move is especially hard on us because it has made us realise - everything is changing. So this song dedication is especially for us, and for me - because I know I want this - but I should be allowed some hesitation. I may not like it here but God knows there are some very important people I will be leaving tomorrow!
And as usual, John helps me say what I need to say!

Stop this train

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train


And with that I will say - goodbye everybody! Just know, I would never have made it through these years here if it were not for each and everyone of you. Xx

Backstreets Back - Alright!

I always knew I wanted to watch the Backstreet Boys live. And somewhere, deep down inside, I knew I would. I just didn't think that I would in Dubai. But I did watch them in Dubai last night. And they were amazing. I can not explain how happy I am now. So, so happy. I have been a fan since I was 10. And I remember buying the first album on tape - and listening to it over and over again and FINALLY - having to buy a new one because the old one refused to play anymore!As for the concert - it was one of the best I have been to! They were SO entertaining, they sounded SO GOOD, the dancing was good, high-high energy and they really got the crowd going. And they sang all their classics too - and made me feel like I was 14 again...
This really was a SUPER ending to a pretty shit year. If only they knew how happy they made me. And Nick Carter - you really are so beautiful - and I love you (blush).
Backstreet's SO back!

P.S. - I will admit to getting a little cry-y when they were singing ' I want it that way' ...because I knew the concert was ending and I still couldn't believe I just watched them live.

Bliss-ness!

An awesome evening out =
Me. Naeem. My guitar. His I-phone and its voice recorder option. The sidewalk of the parking lot next to home. Awesome Dubai winter breeze. Impromptu jam session. Unreal quality of recorded jam session. Post singing conversation recordings.

Ah! Bliss. Xx