doom and gloom.

"He found that there was nothing so awful as being in the service of a family you couldn't be proud of, that let you down, showed you up, and made you into a fool." - the inheritance of loss, kiran desai.

ages ago, somewhere at sometime, somebody told me that there is nothing worse than working at a job you don't enjoy. this is when i was younger and i didn't have any ambition or goals. i would wonder why people who leave their jobs and sit at home with no pay and live off their savings for months together. it drove me insane. and then i finally came to the conclusion that they were insane.
but now that opinion has changed. because now i understand it.

when i landed in dubai a year and a half ago, i decided where i wanted to be career wise, how much i wanted to earn and how i was going to get there. everything was going according to plan until about 2 months ago. i loved me job. up until two months ago, i loved my job.
these days, i hate my job. hate is a strong word but i assure you it is aptly used here.
management has changed, goals have changed, and the morale of the team has definitely changed. it is just about depressive going up to my desk and switching on my computer.
and the fact that i am so upset about work, makes me a right ass to be around most of the time.
i understand now, there is nothing worse than working at a job you don't enjoy.

it gets even worse when you have to stick it out due to commitments. it gets even worse when you leave work feeling useless and know that work wise you have not even tapped into 10% potential. it gets even worse when you are more or less threatened with redundancy. it gets even worse when that threat comes in a very nice, sugar coating, 'i am saying this because i care about you' way. basically gets even worse.

i am trying to look at the positive side. i know from everything i have said earlier, you are thinking - 'yea right', but i have come up with a few things that are positive-ish.
i now know what the difference is between a good manager, a bad manager and an excellent manager. i now have learnt the importance of open communication within an organization and within a team. i now know for a fact, that the more you try and show your team who's boss, the less faith they have in you. however, if you just be the boss, guide them, teach them, put your ass on the line for them, communicate and most importantly have a transparent work environment, then you are a more effective boss. a boss that is missed gone. a boss that can make his or her team touch the flippin moon. i have also learnt that you can never buy into the gloss that a recruitment executive puts forth to you to join a company. take this last bit of advice from one. if you are any good at recruiting, you are bloody good at making a normal job the dream job.

anyway, 5 para's later, what exactly is the conclusion of this rant of a blog entry?
well...
that if work sucks, you are a miserable mo-fo and that if you are a hypocritical, credit taking, order shouting s.o.a.b who cannot tell their ass from their shoulder, you shouldn't be in-charge.

ok now - INHALE and EXHALE.